I am paralyzed by self loathing. Turned inwards it has become a personal hell of obsessions, compulsions, depression, illness, anger, frustration.
The painful thoughts are my personal demons.
Knowing the familiar patterns, being able to verbalize these, is but the first step, it doesn’t help pull me out of my personal hell.
Time and again the demons return.
And then I ask for a miracle and do not hesitate to say 'God please help me'
Memories of the past, my own insecurities, complexes gathered and created the hell. Looked at from a position of fear all good recedes and the entire focus becomes dark and menacing
No comments:
Post a Comment